


Awake, Arise, Or Be Forever Fallen

by BettyHT



Series: Never Submit or Yield [2]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 11:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: Adam falls in love with a woman who has lived through similar trauma. As their relationship develops, clues to the conspiracy that led to his abduction begin to emerge.





	Awake, Arise, Or Be Forever Fallen

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen

sequel to Never To Submit Or Yield

Chapter 1

"Me miserable! Which way shall I fly

Infinite wrath and infinite despair?

Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;

And in the lowest deep a lower deep,

Still threat'ning to devour me, opens wide,

To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven." John Milton

Ben sat at the breakfast table savoring his coffee. Hearing a sound, he looked up to see his oldest son walking down the stairs. He could see this several more thousand times he thought and it would still bring a smile to his face. His son was home after more than six years and his heart still swelled at the sight of him.

"Good morning, son. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, sleeping is not a problem. All the fresh air and the sunshine, and that horse ride yesterday made me appreciate the soft comfort of that bed."

Each day, Adam saddled up Cloud Dancer and rode with Joe to look over the Ponderosa. After five days, they had managed to see most of it so that Adam could see the changes that had been made and how the operations were going. He had been very gratified to see the number of windmills on the ranch bringing water to some of the drier pastures and that the mill had been rebuilt to better use the flow of the stream it sat on. But this morning as on the previous several days, Ben noted how a slight frown had taken up residence on his brow. He was worried about something and it wasn't letting go of him.

"What's on your mind?"

Adam dropped his head as he sat at the table. He cradled a cup of coffee between his hands but didn't drink. By his demeanor, Ben could see he was ready to say what was troubling him but needed a bit of time to compose his thoughts into coherent statements he could make. Some things about Adam had not changed at all. Unless he was angry, he would not speak until he had thought through the issue as completely as he could, and then he would think through how to say what was on his mind.

"I feel odd. I feel like I am home and not home. The memories I have, the dream I had of returning, were of the Ponderosa as I last knew it which was over six years ago. So much has changed from that time. When I wake in the morning, I have to think about where it is that I am. I have no place here."

"Of course you have a place here. You are my son. This is your home."

"You don't understand. I have nothing to do here. Everything is already being taken care of by someone who knows what they are doing. Shall I become a ranch hand and take orders? I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can submit to another's authority. It would make me feel that I never escaped."

"You'll find your place. You have been home only a week. You need to take some time to heal your body and your mind."

Ben noted the raised eyebrow indicating the skepticism his son had for his statements, but when he said nothing, Ben continued.

"In your mind, you're not home yet. You have had a number of shocks and you need to allow yourself time to adjust. There may be no blood, but you're a wounded man who needs time to heal. You're thin as a rail too. You can't even wear the clothes you left behind because they hang on you. You need to build up your strength, in body and in mind. Then we'll talk of what you can do here. You worked almost every day for over six years. It's time to take some time off, to relax."

"I don't think I know how any more."

"Then perhaps you need to take some time and learn how to have fun again and how to sit back and enjoy life. You're always on edge. You turn at every sound. I know there are reasons for that, but now you need to learn to live here among people you can trust, people who love you."

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

"Yes, Milton. He was always one of your favorites and one of your mother's too. Have you been reading his works again?"

"Each night, before I go to bed I read some. Milton's words were the ones I could remember best when I was locked away and losing hope. His words always reminded me that I was the one in charge of where my mind went and what I chose to believe. I used his words to strengthen my resolve again and again when I had nearly lost it and my will to even live. I knew I had to continue to fight and to struggle or I would be lost forever."

"Awake, arise or be for ever fall'n."

"Exactly, and I need to remember his words now because I am struggling as much now as I was then. It is a different kind of struggle, but I know I have to keep trying."

"We'll be here to help you now. You are no longer alone."

Hop Sing who had been waiting for the two men to finish their talk came out with breakfast for them then. He had prepared many of Adam's favorites as he did with each meal. Anyone who looked at the man Adam was now could see he needed to gain some weight. So for breakfast there were berries and flapjacks, biscuits with jelly, and scrambled eggs with crispy bacon. It was discouraging though to see how little Adam put on his plate. He ate well but not enough according to Hop Sing. Joe came down the stairs then rubbing his sleepy eyes. The smell of breakfast had nudged him from his bed. Meals had been scrumptious since Adam's return as Hop Sing did his best to encourage the man to eat. Joe didn't want to miss it. Soon the front door opened and Jamie led Griff and Candy in to breakfast. They had completed all the morning chores. Like Joe, they had been heartily enjoying the breakfasts since Adam's return. Hop Sing had always provided fantastic food but it seemed he was trying with each meal to outdo his own reputation.

The conversation at the table became boisterous and convivial. Ben, as he had for the previous week, noted how Adam became an observer when more than he and/or Joe were there. He had not become comfortable talking with anyone else yet. The daily rides with Joe were probably extending his isolation for when there was any talking to do with an employee of the ranch, the always gregarious Joe would jump in and take care of it. Ben began to think he ought to talk to Joe about letting Jamie or Candy go riding with Adam when Joe himself brought up the topic.

"Hey, Adam, today is payday and we need to get more money from the bank. We always have two of us go now and rarely the same two to do our best to avoid any bushwhackers. It's Jamie's turn, and Candy needs my help getting the string of horses ready to deliver to the Army. Could you ride with Jamie today?"

Ben could see Adam was surprised by the request. It was a big change for him.

"I don't even own a pistol any more."

"Heck, you won't need one on the ride in. You could get one there, and then you'd have one for the ride back."

"I haven't fired a gun in over six years. I may have forgotten how."

"C'mon, Adam, a talent like yours isn't lost that easy. We'll go out after breakfast and you can practice a little to get the rust out. Jamie isn't going to be leaving for a couple of hours yet anyway."

Joe kicked Jamie lightly under the table so he wouldn't disagree. Adam looked up and looked to his father. This was exactly the kind of thing they had been discussing. Adam needed to do this.

"All right, I'll go. And, yes, I need to practice, but not with your gun. With that filed down hammer I'm liable to shoot myself in the foot."

The men laughed heartily. It was the first light-hearted comment any of them had heard from Adam, and the first hint that he had a personality under that calm exterior. Griff, better than anyone else, understood the difficulties Adam was having. He offered to ride into town with the two of them to get some supplies they needed. Ben endorsed the idea before anyone could offer an objection.

When all the plates on the table were empty, Hop Sing had come to clear them away with a big smile on his face for he felt they appreciated him when all the food was gone. The men stood and walked outside around to the back of the barn where target practice was usually done. Jamie set some bottles on the fence. Ben had thought to offer Adam the use of Hoss' pistol but knew that he wouldn't be able to use it without thinking of his brother. It was too much now. Perhaps at a later date, he could make that offer. Instead Ben offered the use of his pistol which was very similar to one Adam had used many years earlier so the weight and the handling would be reasonably familiar to him. Adam stood and prepared himself by drawing in a big breath. Then he leveled the pistol and fired shattering six bottles. He held the pistol in firing position as if he was frozen there. No one said anything for a moment until Candy broke the silence, and then Jamie offered his observation.

"Hot damn, Adam, how well do you shoot when you've been practicing?"

"That's what Hoss said about you. He said Joe was really fast, but you always hit what you were aiming at."

Adam didn't react to the two statements. Joe walked over to Adam and pushed his arm down to his side. The other men walked away leaving the two brothers together.

"Did that bring back a lot of memories?"

Adam just nodded. So many images had flooded his mind when he finished shooting. He had not realized how much he had repressed.

"If you don't want to go, that's all right. Someone else can ride with Jamie."

"I'll ride with Jamie. I just need a little time."

Adam turned to walk to the house, and Joe walked beside him. Ben had come outside with the ledgers and contracts because the day was so warm and mild with little breeze to disturb his papers. He planned to read over the latest contracts and check out the balances in the ledgers. He no longer had to struggle with them because Jamie did all of the entries and tallied the figures. He was worried though when he saw how Adam walked into the house. Joe told him what had happened, and Ben recounted his conversation with Adam from that morning.

"He's hurting, Joe. He needs time to heal and get his strength back. He looks so normal that most people would think he's fine, but he isn't. We need to be sure to be there for him. He's going to have some difficult days ahead of him adjusting to being in a regular environment with good people, people who care for him and want to see him find some happiness again. This reminds me so much of when he suffered in the desert with that madman Kane. In some ways this was worse. He wasn't physically abused so much as isolated and beaten down. I just don't know what to do."

"Pa, what if something happens when they're bringing the payroll home?"

"He'll have Griff and Jamie with him so it's unlikely anyone would try something but put a couple of men at each of the spots along the road where trouble would most likely be. They can keep out of sight and make sure nothing out of the ordinary happens."

Joe nodded. That was an excellent plan. Adam could do something important, and they could make sure it was successful. Less than an hour later, Adam walked outside and surprised them: he had shaved off his beard.

"Well you look more like the Adam I remember now. You still look a little like a mountain man in those clothes though. While you're picking up a pistol rig, you could get yourself some shirts and pants that fit, and a new pair of boots if they have some you like."

Ben knew that Adam had little money and would not make him ask.

"Put whatever you want on the Ponderosa account. Joe can get some spending money for you out of the safe. It's a new larger one so you don't know the combination yet. I'll get that for you when we start going over the books together. Jamie does most of that work, but I like to look them over to see how we're doing. Joe does the same, and now you can too."

The ride to town and back to get the payroll went smoothly. While in town, Griff picked up some supplies while Adam picked out shirts, pants, a new pair of boots, a hat, a pistol and holster, and a new shaving kit. He changed in the back room of the store and came out looking a lot more like the Adam people would recognize. His hair had gray streaks and was thin on top, but with his hat on, no one would notice that. He also picked out a tan barn jacket and tied that behind his saddle and put two extra shirts and pair of pants in his saddlebags. On the ride home, several times Adam spotted men high above the road. Nothing happened so by the time they got back, Adam was fairly sure he knew what had been going on.

"So, did you have some watchers out there making sure there was no trouble?"

Ben was caught out and knew there was no way to deny it so he shrugged his shoulders.

"Well you did say it's a father's prerogative to worry about his sons, but you don't have to nursemaid me through everything. I'm not fragile."

"I can't promise it won't happen again, but there were good reasons to avoid any gunfire today. By the way, I do like the new look."

Adam was wearing a light blue shirt and black pants with black boots. He had a plain black Stetson hat and a tan barn coat over his arm. He was wearing a simple holster but the pistol was a Colt. He had a box of ammunition as well.

"I got a red shirt and a white shirt too. I thought I might go to church with you on Sunday. There are a lot of people I would like to say hello to."

"Well a couple of them will be here for dinner. Last week I asked Roy and Paul to come to dinner and tonight is the night."

Chapter 2

"Thou canst not touch the freedom of my mind." John Milton

"Ben, you don't need to worry about Adam eating. He had plenty at dinner and ate some of everything from what I saw."

"But, Paul, he's so thin. He needs to put some weight on and build some muscle."

"Yes, but he's been underfed and malnourished for years. Give it time. He probably isn't able to eat much more at a meal than he did tonight. It will take some time before he's able to eat as much as you or Joe. If you want to see him gain back some weight faster, offer snacks. Eating more often will help more than trying to get him to stuff himself at every meal."

"Hop Sing does know how to make some tasty treats. Adam used to love his oatmeal cookies and his fresh doughnuts."

"Yes, things like that perhaps with a glass of milk and even an apple or two during the day will help."

Ben had told Paul of his concerns about Adam so Paul had observed him at dinner. Then Roy and Ben had joined Paul on the porch as the three smoked cigars.

"Ben, I think you have more to worry about than his eating. Adam has made great strides forward in the time he's been back. Shaving off that beard and wearing new clothes show his willingness to put the past six years behind him. However, I am more concerned by his demeanor. He's holding everything in."

"But Paul, he always did that."

"Not like this, Ben. He's doesn't laugh, he rarely joined in the conversation, and I dare anyone to read that expression he has on his face most of the time. He's always on alert looking to every sound or movement. He's constantly evaluating things to see if there's a threat."

"I just thought that was Adam being Adam. He's always been a bit like that."

"Yes, a bit, but this is an all-out effort to suppress any emotion and at the same time he's constantly on alert and on edge. Now we know he's feeling things but he isn't letting even a hint of them show. I'm sure that in that situation he was in, it was probably necessary. But I fear he's going to explode. So much has happened to him, and he must be so angry at what was done to him. He needs to let the reaction out. By holding back, it's making it more likely that when he lets it out, it will be an unhappy if not an unhealthy or inappropriate response."

"Adam does have a healthy temper, but we haven't seen even any of that since he's been home."

"Exactly, you know it's there, but he has a tight rein on it now, much too tight."

"Well I suppose I oughta keep a close eye on him when he's in town then."

"Roy, you're probably right. Some unfortunate fool is likely to push him at just the wrong moment. I wouldn't want to be the man who faces all that anger when it pours out of him."

All three men were silent when they heard the front door open. Adam walked out followed by Joe and Candy.

"Well, everyone is so quiet, you'll make me think you were talking about me."

"Adam, we were discussing you a bit. I like the new look."

"Thank you, Paul. Although I would have purchased a black shirt if they had one."

The men laughed at Adam's comment, but he only raised an eyebrow. The laughter did relieve the tension, but he knew they had been discussing him, and it made him resentful at first although he wouldn't show it. He thought about it for a moment and realized it was only natural for them to have been discussing him for he was the biggest story around at the moment. Paul watched him carefully. Anyone being discussed like that should have shown at least a little resentment but Adam remained as neutral in expression as he had for any other conversation that had occurred.

"Adam, is there anything that you have been doing that you find to be fun?"

Adam looked at Paul. He had noticed Paul watching him all evening. He knew he was being evaluated but didn't know if the results were good or bad.

"I like riding Cloud Dancer."

It was the closest to a statement with feeling that Paul had heard.

"A new horse?"

"Yes. Would you like to see her?"

Again, this was the first effort to take an initiative and the first effort to have a conversation with someone other than Ben or Joe so Paul was encouraged. These were small steps but healthy ones.

"I would love to meet your new horse."

Adam began walking to the stable, and Paul followed. Once in the stable, Adam lit a lantern and hung it on a hook near the stall where Cloud Dancer stood. Adam stepped into the stall and rubbed her neck. As she turned toward him, he ran his hand up and down her cheeks. She bobbed her head making it clear she liked it. Then Adam took the lead rope and backed her out to meet Paul. Paul stood next to Adam and noted how this mare looked him over and then looked to Adam. He talked soothingly to her and told her that the man's name was Paul. Paul reached out and ran his hand down her neck. Cloud Dancer snorted, and Adam chuckled.

"Well, she likes you well enough, but I wouldn't try to ride her if I were you. She's letting you know to be careful."

"I haven't ridden a horse in years so she is quite safe from me. Carriages are all I ride."

"So how did I do on the test?"

Paul looked at Adam thoughtfully. He should have known that Ben's request to come out here for dinner and diagnose his son through observation would be discerned by someone as smart as Adam.

"Well, using the same type of terminology. You haven't had the test yet. You're doing well on the first assignments though. Your father is more worried than he needs to be, and I have reassured him somewhat. Don't be surprised if Hop Sing is offering you delicious snacks during the day. I suggested that was a better alternative than trying to get you to stuff yourself at every meal. What does concern me most is that you should be terribly angry at the injustice of what was done to you. You should have a desire to strike out at those who abused you so. Yet I see a very calm man in front of me and that does worry me."

"Maybe I've completed that assignment already."

"No, I think you're avoiding that one, hiding it deep inside, and I'm worried about who will bear the brunt of it when it comes out."

"How do I deal with it if you're correct?"

"You need to find an outlet for it. Doing something very physical will help, and it will make you stronger too. Just make sure it's an inanimate object you abuse. Too many men have taken it out on their wives or other family members, their horse, or themselves or they start drinking to cover the pain. You're a very smart man. You'll figure out a way. But don't take too much time. You need to start work on this assignment soon."

"Thank you, Paul, for trusting me."

"Now trust yourself, Adam. Have you had any trouble sleeping?"

"No, if anything, I sleep more than I should and have trouble waking sometimes. I do very little every day, but I'm always tired."

"Interesting thing happens sometimes when people do even more physical labor when they have had troubles like you endured. The more they do, the less tired they are. Holding everything in is sapping your energy. Doing more physical work will make you feel stronger and more refreshed. Try it tomorrow."

"Do you need to give my father a full report now?"

"Anything said here between us is confidential. You can tell your father how much you want to tell him whenever you want to tell him."

The next morning, Adam told his father he was going to chop some wood. Ben said that wasn't necessary, but Adam said it was. Ben was going to argue until he realized how silly it would be. So, he simply said if that's how Adam wanted to spend the morning, then that's what he ought to do. Adam had seen the change in his father's demeanor and was grateful. He didn't want to tell him why he wanted to chop wood, but it was all too obvious to Ben anyway as he sat at his desk and heard the chopping outside. He knew Adam had to be throwing everything he had into each swing of the axe by the sounds he was hearing. After about an hour, he felt he had to go outside. What he saw amazed and worried him. Adam was attacking wood like it was an invading army it seemed. He was splitting log after log and had wood scattered all around him. Adam stopped when he saw his father standing there.

"I think I may have to stop now. I have blisters and a lot of wood to stack."

Ben could see that he had more than blisters. Blisters had broken and some were bleeding a bit.

"Why don't you go in to see Hop Sing about something to put on those blisters. I can stack the wood."

"No! I'll stack it! Don't do anything with it! It's my job and I'll finish it!"

Adam stalked off to the kitchen, and Ben was almost afraid to say anything. The fury in Adam's words had been unmistakable. Ben thought about what Paul had said and decided he would go back inside and let Adam work through this. Over an hour later, Adam walked inside and over to his father's desk where he stood quietly. Ben looked up and could see the torment on his son's face. He felt bad about that but based on what Paul had said, this was a good thing. He was letting some of his inner pain out.

"I'm sorry for how I spoke to you. It was uncalled for."

Ben stood and walked to his son's side and put his hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Adam, I understand. I accept your apology. I think I know now what you were doing and I shouldn't have interfered. I am sorry for that. Can I assume the wood is all stacked?"

Adam looked at him a little sheepishly, and shook his head no.

"I could use a little help. The bandages Hop Sing put on my hands are making it difficult."

"Well then I guess I'll be working up an appetite for lunch too. Just don't expect me to work as fast and furiously as you were. I don't think I could."

Adam smiled at his father, and the two went outside to stack wood together.

Chapter 3

At dinner that night, Adam's bandaged hands were the object of speculation, but only Jamie thought to say something.

"What happened to your hands?"

"I was chopping wood, and I got some blisters."

"Why would you get blisters? I thought you were …"

"I didn't work with axes and saws."

Nothing more was said about the wood chopping. It was a task no one liked so they were more than willing to allow Adam to do as much of it as he wanted. Adam worked on the wood pile day after day. The blisters hardened into calluses. His arms got stronger, his appetite improved, and he began getting up earlier in the morning.

By that Friday, Adam had been home three weeks. He had attended a church service and greeted many old friends there. A lot had already changed in Adam, but other than taking Cloud Dancer for rides, he had not had anything that anyone would call fun. So, although he was working through his anger, he had found no way to be joyous. His guitar stood unused in his room as did his drafting table. Joe and Candy suggested that on Saturday, the five men should go fishing, and then that night, go into town for the annual spring social.

The first thought that Adam had was to say no. Holding back as the men discussed the next day and the fun they would have, he tried to understand his own feelings. Ben watched his eldest son and by the stoic expression correctly surmised that he was in turmoil over the plans. Ben said a silent prayer that his son could find the strength within himself to join the others. Everyone there including Adam knew he needed to do this, but the emotional component of making the commitment was a strong barrier to saying yes. Adam looked to his father and could see the hope in his eyes. He could not disappoint him.

"Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named not good."

Ben smiled. He had not ever been so appreciative of Milton's works. Adam was finding solace and strength in those words. Adam gave his father one of those little crooked smiles before turning to the other men and agreeing to accompany them. The fishing trip appealed to him while the dance made him exceptionally nervous. He had not been with a woman for over six years other than Sally and they had been friends and nothing more. He wondered what it would be like to be with women who saw him as a potential husband. He was forty years old so wondered too if any woman would find him attractive any more. He worried that his needs could overwhelm his reserve if he got into a situation where he could embrace and kiss a woman again. That his body reacted just to thinking about these things made him worry more. He did not want to embarrass himself either.

The next morning, Adam arose early and chopped some wood. It was his outlet for excess energy and released his emotions as well. That first day he had pictured the camp manager's face a number of times in the wood he was splitting. It was satisfying to feel the axe bite through the wood and hear the resounding thud of the axe each time as well. As the days moved on, he saw the logs as wood and the chopping as exercise. He felt better each time he finished some chopping and stacking. He hoped that it would help him keep his equilibrium for this day especially that evening in town. Riding Cloud Dancer to the lake and back, and then into town, would help as well.

Shortly after breakfast, Adam and the others saddled up and rode to the lake where they threw their fishing lines in the lake. There wasn't much fishing that actually took place though. It was their thought that the fish would be responsible for hooking themselves. Few did so the catch was minimal. Most of the time was spent talking and laying back and resting. Spring tasks were numerous and required a lot of hard work. The men enjoyed the day off grateful that Ben thought they deserved it. The lake was too cold for swimming yet but Adam thought about jumping in anyway with all the talk the other four men had about the dance that night, the gals they would dance with, and the kisses and whatever else they could steal on a moonlight walk. Adam's apprehension over the dance grew. By the time they returned to bathe and dress for the dance, he regretted his earlier agreement to go. He consoled himself with the idea that he could leave early if he wished and ride Cloud Dancer home at a leisurely pace.

So long in isolation from normal activities, Adam was understandably nervous about his first big social event. The first person who greeted him on this Saturday was no help. Barney Fuller's oldest daughter had returned to the area after her husband's business failed in Sacramento. She saw Joe and Candy walk in and assumed the dark-haired man with them must be Adam.

"So, you must be the one who was locked away for six years. We better tell the fathers to hide away their daughters. You never know what you might want to do after all that time alone."

Adam turned on his heel and strode to the refreshment table where he grabbed a cup of punch and downed it. Joe and Candy would have hit any man who had dared talk to Adam that way but could only glower at the unhappy woman who wanted to spread her bile around.

"Adam, she's just one ignorant miserable woman. Don't let it ruin your whole evening."

"Joe, how many people are talking about the freak show attraction now that she started it?"

"Don't talk like that."

Candy, Jamie, and Griff joined the two brothers at the refreshment table. They had all heard the insensitive comment but didn't know what to do.

"I'll think I'll just leave. All of you will have a much better time if I'm not here."

They all objected but knew that Adam was probably correct in his assessment of the situation. By now, everyone in town seemed to know the story. Seeing him here had stimulated discussion of him that would likely continue throughout the evening. Then there was the worry that someone else would say something cruel, and if it was a man, there was going to be a fight.

Joe reassured his brother that there would be a chance soon for Adam to have a chance to enjoy himself socially. "We'll have a party at the Ponderosa soon. We can decide who to invite and that miserable woman won't be on the guest list."

"Thanks, Joe. I just don't want any trouble. I made an appearance. Maybe next time things will go more smoothly."

Quickly, Adam took his leave saying good night to several people he knew. He walked away slowly savoring his freedom and the dignity he had managed to keep this night. The music from the social hall could be heard very well outside and he assumed for several blocks in each direction.

"Are you just going to ignore me?"

Adam stopped at the familiar voice. Looking over at the porch of a nearby home, he saw a figure reclining in a swing.

"Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, in every gesture dignity and love."

"Lovely! John Milton"

"Yes, you were always good with literature. Although I can't get the picture out of my head of you and Hoss fighting in that mud puddle. Then you both fell in that pond that was covered with scum. We had to rescue you two, and our parents were so glad you were both safe, they forgot all about the fighting and the muddy, smelly clothes."

"Adam, we were seven years old, and we both wanted that frog."

The two began to laugh at that old memory.

"How are you, Grace?"

"Well, I'm doing all right. It's hard to make your way as a widow with a business to run especially with my background, but I'm managing. And how about you? My troubles don't begin to compare with what you went through. Oh, don't look at me like that. Everyone in town has been talking about it. You could come up here on the porch, set a spell, and talk about anything you want?"

"I don't know. I was going to ride home."

"Afraid of me?"

"Not exactly."

"Afraid to trust yourself?"

Adam had walked closer, and Grace could see his face lose its expression. He was shutting out any emotion from view. She knew that look. She had seen it in the mirror for several years. Surviving an Apache attack and watching your husband die, and then being held captive for several months until freed by an unexpected attack by soldiers had led her to the same result. It had taken her a couple of years to start feeling and showing emotions again.

"Adam, I trust you. A man's character is not lost just because he loses his freedom. I know that. You're the same person you were before, but you have some unpleasant experiences to put behind you. Why did you leave the dance?"

"I could ask you why you didn't go?"

"All right, I'll answer first but then you. I won't go to an event like that unescorted, and no one will escort me after what happened."

"But Grace, that wasn't your fault. It was done to you without your consent. It doesn't make you less of a person."

"Well, now, I hope you've been telling yourself that every day because you need to hear that more often I think. So, c'mon up here on the porch and sit with me. I trust you."

"Perhaps you would consider another idea? You come down here and dance with me. We can hear the music just fine, and we don't have to worry about what anyone is thinking."

"Someone said something stupid to you at the dance then?"

"Yes, but let's not talk about that. Let's dance. I haven't danced in years, literally."

Grace walked down the steps, and Adam held out his arm for her. The sounds of a waltz had just begun. He took Grace by the arm, and they danced over her yard. When the music ended, Adam held her in his arms.

"Adam, the music stopped."

"I know, but this is so heavenly I hoped you wouldn't want to stop. I'm sure they will play another tune."

Grace stood on her toes and kissed Adam softly and briefly before wrapping her arms around him and leaning in to his chest. Adam wrapped his arms around her and waited for the music to start again. The next song was a Virginia reel. They ignored it as Adam began to hum Greensleeves and they rocked in rhythm with that tune instead. After a few minutes they broke their embrace, and Grace took Adam by the hand and led him to the porch swing. They rocked back and forth in the swing as they talked. Occasionally Adam would lean over and kiss Grace on the cheek unless she turned toward him, and then she got a kiss on the lips. They spent several hours just that way. Adam never saw Jamie and Griff walk by. They both heard and then saw Jamie run back to the social hall.

"Oh, oh. I think I've been missed. They're probably wondering why my horse is still in town. Come here. Let me kiss you one last time tonight."

Adam wrapped his arms around Grace, and she looked up at him. He kissed her gently and then more insistently. Adam had awakened feelings in Grace that she thought she would never know again, and she responded to his kiss.

"Joe, Cloud Dancer is still in the livery stable!"

"Where's Adam?"

"We didn't see him anywhere, and Jesse said he hasn't been back to the livery at all."

Fireworks that traditionally ended the spring social started exploding in the sky illuminating the street for intervals.

"Hey, Joe, Adam was wearing a red shirt tonight wasn't he?"

"Yeah, Candy, why?"

Candy pointed to Grace's house when the next fireworks exploded. All four of them then saw Adam in an embrace with Grace and locked in a kiss. The four of them stared for a bit unwilling to believe what their eyes were telling them. Then Adam stood and lifted Grace's hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Tomorrow, may I pick you up for church?"

Grace smiled and agreed.

"About nine-thirty then?"

"That would be lovely."

"Goodnight, Grace. Thank you for the dance."

"Goodnight, Adam. Thank you for everything."

Adam walked over to where the others were standing and asked if they were ready to ride home. No one knew what to say so they said nothing about Grace. The next morning though, Ben asked Joe how the evening had gone.

"It was all right. I think Adam had a good time though."

"Joe, Adam danced with a number of ladies then?"

"Not exactly. Just one, and I'm not sure they even danced."

"Who was it?"

"Grace."

"Oh, my Lord, that son of mine never does anything the easy way."

Chapter 4

"The end of all learning is to know God, and out of that knowledge to love and imitate Him." John Milton

Near the church, Adam pulled the carriage toward a tree and stopped under it. After putting on the brake, he climbed out and walked to the opposite side to help Grace out of the carriage. Offering her his arm first, he walked with her toward the church.

"They're staring already."

"Grace, we're making it easy for them. They can stare at both of us at once. And we've given them even more fodder for the rumor mill. Ignore them. It will frustrate them if you don't react. Church services are something I found I missed a great deal. I know that the message in there will not support the behavior we see out here, and I can't wait to sing with you. I recall that you had a wonderful voice."

Inside, Adam saw his father sitting with Joe and Jamie in the front. He guided Grace to the bench right behind them. Ben glanced back and smiled at his son and Grace. It was a relief to see Adam taking some initiative and to see his desire to be in church. What worried Ben was that Adam already had to face so many curious townspeople many of whom could be cruel whether it was intentional or not.

Now that he was with Grace, there was liable to be more said about Adam, and some of it could be very cruel. Grace had suffered a lot because of her ordeal as well. She had been assaulted while in captivity, but the way the story was told by some, it was her fault. Sadly, in sexual assault, Ben knew the victim was often blamed. There were those who said she didn't fight back enough, and their evidence consisted of the fact that she was still alive. To their minds, it would have been better if she had been killed than assaulted. Ben had great sympathy for Grace but also an overriding concern for his son's mental and emotional health. Carrying the additional burden of what might be said about his relationship with Grace could threaten his recovery.

The minister must have been aware of a lot that went on with the gossip and rumors in town. He announced the subject of his sermon was taken first from a line from John Milton: "The end of all learning is to know God, and out of that knowledge to love and imitate Him." Then he started going through the Bible citing references to that idea. He started with Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. and Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. He worked his way all the way to the Gospels and various renditions of the Golden Rule.

By the time his hour-long sermon was completed, there was silence in the church and quite a few heads bowed in embarrassment and guilt. Everyone there knew that there were still many more in town who had not heard this sermon and would not be moved to change their ways, but they also knew it was their duty to try to change attitudes they may have helped create. As Adam and Grace left the church, there were several who stopped and said they were sorry for the gossip and rumors that had made life uncomfortable for them sometimes.

When Adam neared the minister, Ben was surprised to hear what was said.

"Thank you, Adam. When we discussed some of those Milton ideas, that one stood out for me, and I built the sermon based on that idea. It was an unconventional way to start a sermon but it caught their attention, and I used His word then to lay out the persuasive argument."

"You're welcome. I did enjoy our talks as well."

"I have enjoyed our conversations, and I would like to include Grace in the future sometimes. I think we share some of the same concerns."

Based on that conversation, Ben now suspected he knew where Adam had been on some of those long rides on Cloud Dancer. It was good that he was seeking out help. Perhaps this friendship with Grace was good too in getting him to examine his experiences within a philosophical framework. Ben began to re-evaluate his earlier conclusion about Adam seeing Grace. The two of them had some experiences in common, and Grace's strength had carried her through so perhaps she would help Adam on his journey.

That Sunday, Adam took Grace on a ride to the lake and the two of them walked through the meadow and talked. They did kiss and hug too, but Grace knew that Adam needed the warm friendship that she was offering more than he needed anything else at this point. As the afternoon neared evening, Adam drove Grace to her home and said goodbye with a kiss. Then he rode home and as soon as he was well away from the city, he began to sing. He sang every song he could remember, and before he realized how much time had passed, he was home. He came inside to find the others just sitting down to dinner. He sat with the other men and talked about his afternoon with Grace. Ben had a tear in his eye when he looked at Joe and saw the misty eyes he had. They realized that a part of Adam that had been missing was back again.

That evening, Adam went to his room and Ben, Joe, and Jamie could hear some guitar chords although not all sounded good. After six years, Adam needed to practice. He also found that he was getting more blisters so he had to stop playing. But now he had something else to do to occupy his time and to give him joy.

On Monday, Adam rode with Jamie into town to pick up supplies. As they rode in the wagon, Ben rode beside them on Buck because he had business to attend to with the bank and with their lawyer. Joe had a number of contracts that had either been paid off and the drafts needed to be deposited and others that had just been negotiated and the terms would be run by their attorney before the contracts were signed and returned. The three of them met for lunch at the International House. Paul Martin came in just after they did and joined them for lunch.

"Well, Adam, you certainly have made yourself a feature in the town news. I don't know how many people have talked of you and Grace, and many also mentioned what the minister said about how he decided on his sermon yesterday."

Adam's countenance darkened, and Paul had to amend his statement.

"Everyone I talked to said they liked that Grace finally had a good friend. She deserves it, and so do you."

"Thank you, Paul. But Jamie and I should probably get going now. There's a lot to load up and then get it all home and unloaded."

After Jamie and Adam exited the restaurant and they saw them crossing the street to the mercantile, Ben turned to Paul with an expectant look.

"I know, I know, you want an opinion on how he's doing. Ben, that son of yours is remarkably resilient. He has made remarkable progress in just a few weeks. Now there could be some setbacks and don't expect that every day things will go well, but from what I've seen, he's going to be fine. And he has done wonders already with another patient of mine. Grace is looking happier than I've seen her in years. They both need this friendship."

"And if it goes any further?"

"I guess that is up to them, but I don't see any problem with it. Now that the minister has stepped up and basically become their champion, I can't see the gossips trying to do much with their story."

Ben sipped his coffee and smiled over his cup at Paul. Paul was thinking that there was another patient of his right here who was benefiting from all of this as well. He had not seen Ben look so alive and hopeful for the past year. His depression over Hoss' death had lifted. He knew that Ben would mourn his lost son every day for the rest of his life, but now Ben had realized he had living sons who needed him. Paul had his own smile as he savored the last sips of his coffee.

Chapter 5

For the next few months, Adam gradually worked his way into ranch business. He did the lumber, timber, and mining contracts as well as negotiating rates with the freight companies and the railroads. When needed, he assisted with branding and herding cattle from pasture to pasture. For ranch work, he did better on horseback than on anything requiring him to stand for long periods. His leg wasn't strong enough nor did it have the stamina needed for long stretches of physical exertion like that. Adam was grateful that meant he was no longer expected to help with fence repairs. He did ride fence lines, and both Ben and Joe were apprehensive when he said he could do the fence lines in the upper pastures which required staying out in line cabins.

"I won't break being on my own for five days. I did travel from Pocatello to Virginia City on my own when I was in a lot worse shape than I am now."

"It can just get lonely up there by yourself for a week."

"I won't be lonely. I'll just be alone. There's a big difference. Now let's finish breakfast so I can pack up to go. I want to be back by Friday."

Joe's eyes lit up.

"Oh, and why do you need to be home by Friday? Any special reason?"

"Griff's going to be gone to pick up that bull from Sacramento. Candy has plans with Ann and Jamie will be with his fiancée. You'll be going to town, and it's my turn to watch your back in the saloon."

The men laughed, and Joe sputtered unable to come up with a quick retort for that. Even Ben had to smile. Conversation had gotten lighter and more convivial unless they were discussing ranch business when this group could be very serious. Candy and Adam had developed a respect for each other's opinions and often bounced ideas off each other. Hop Sing brought in another plate of eggs and ham. He was smiling a lot lately too as he cleaned away mostly empty plates at every meal.

For five days, Adam rode fence lines and spent each night in a line shack. Despite what he said, he had been a bit apprehensive too about being alone. He had wondered how he would feel. He had no experience with which to compare. What he found though was that he enjoyed the freedom and the solitude. He was able to spend time thinking through some things. One thing frequently on his mind was his relationship with Grace. He wasn't sure if he loved her. He wasn't even sure how one knew if it was love and if that love would endure. He had been wrong so many times before. By Friday when he was riding home, he was determined that he would discuss this with her and knew she would be honest with him. One thing he was sure of was that he trusted her as much as he trusted his father and Joe.

When Adam rode in, Ben and Joe were happy to see him looking so relaxed. Joe told him to hurry up and bathe and dress because he was ready to go to town. Joe added that he had not found a lady yet but he was enjoying the search. This Friday though was his regular monthly poker game too. At the saloon, Joe convinced Adam to share a drink with him before he went to spend the evening with Grace. Lights were on in her store when they arrived in town so Adam stopped in to visit with her and told her where he would be for a drink before he came to see her for the evening. She smiled and said she would wait at the store for him. Adam joined Joe at the crowded saloon and they stood at the bar near the door and had whisky. Joe was expected and one of the men at his regular table called out to ask him when he would be sitting in. Adam froze in place.

"What's wrong?"

Adam didn't say anything because he was hearing voices from his past.

He won't know anything. He'll be drugged. No one will know where he is. We have nothing to worry about. This is pure profit minus what we paid Suzy.

"Who called to you?"

Adam said it with such vehemence that Joe was worried.

"What's wrong?"

"That voice belongs to one of the men who stole six years of my life."

"That's Dave Donaldson, Barney Fuller's son-in-law. You met his wife at the dance. She was the rude miserable woman with the big mouth."

"I need to get Roy."

Adam's reaction had not gone unnoticed. One man had edged closer to the brothers to listen to them talk. He turned and nodded at the table. Adam turned to leave, and as he did so, Joe looked over to the table to see Donaldson drawing his pistol and pointing it at Adam's back. Joe fired first as he pushed Adam to the side. It was over in seconds and Roy was there in a minute. He had been doing his rounds and heard the gunshots when he was already near the saloon. Donaldson was dead. Adam and Joe gave their statements and many in the saloon who had seen what happened backed them up. Most were surprised to hear Adam's claim but Donaldson's action backed Adam's story.

Neither Joe nor Adam wanted to stay after what had happened. Adam walked out and saw Grace sitting on the bench outside her store. Terrified by the shots and Roy running to the saloon, she had not known what to do and had been frozen with fear. Seeing Adam walk out uninjured made her heart swell with joy and love. She had not been sure if she loved him but sitting there wondering if she would ever see him again had made it very clear to her. One thing she had discovered was that she found it hard to think of living a life without him. His patience with her and his gentleness as well as his consideration for her needs made her sure she would never meet a man as wonderful. He had been so understanding of her fears and reticence. She knew that there would never be another for her. So, she ran across the street and grabbed him in a big hug spinning him to the side and spinning her directly into the path of the bullet fired from the alley and meant for Adam.

Grace almost slipped to the ground before Adam caught her in his arms. He dropped to his knees holding her to him. Whimpering in pain, she grasped his shirt in her hand. After calling his name softly several times, her head fell back and her eyes closed. Adam looked up in anguish at Joe, Roy, and others crowded around.

"Adam, what happened?"

His voice choked with pain, Adam stated the basics and nothing more. "A shot from the alley. I didn't see anything except a flash."

After Joe helped Adam stand with Grace in his arms so he could carry her to Doctor Martin's office, he and Roy ran toward the alley followed by some other men. Roy hurriedly organized a search pattern as Joe ran down the alley. No one was there. Following a hunch, Joe ran toward the Fuller offices. When he saw a man enter the offices as the building came into view, he ran there drawing his pistol on the way. Once he reached the area outside the door, he paused to look in the window and saw a man lighting a lamp. Waiting until the office was illuminated, Joe opened the door and surprised one of Fuller's sons. Joe had seen him in the saloon standing at the bar near where he and Adam had stood.

"Raise your hands and put your hands on your head."

"Ah, what's wrong, Joe? Just tell me what's wrong."

"I'm taking your pistol to see if it's been fired recently. Turn around."

As Joe stepped forward, he pushed his pistol against the man's back. Next, he reached and pulled the man's pistol from his holster. It was slightly warm and had an acrid smell. The gun had been fired recently.

"Why did you do it, Trey? Why? Your father has all sorts of money. You never lacked for anything."

"Yeah, I had everything except the right to make a decision, the right to do some things I wanted to do."

"So, you thought kidnapping and murder were better? That was a bad idea."

Whirling around, Trey tried to grab Joe's pistol. They struggled briefly and the only result was that Trey caused the pistol to fire and he fell to the floor with a bullet in his abdomen and bleeding profusely. A short time later Roy and the other searchers got to the office.

"I'm dying, ain't I? I am so sorry for what I did. I never meant for it to get so bad. At first, we just sent a few men to work up there. Then they started sending requests. Adam was our best sale. But then we had to get rid of Suzy before she talked. I quit it then, but once Adam came back, I was afraid every day that I would get found out. I'm so sorry that the lady got shot. I was so scared of hanging. Please, could you ask the minister to come here. I need to talk with him before I die."

Trey's voice had grown weaker and weaker as he had talked. He could barely be heard by the last sentences he said. He never said any more. Shortly after Reverend Wallace arrived, Trey died. His father got there shortly after his death, and Barney Fuller looked older and smaller than he ever had after he was told the whole story by Roy who had heard the young man's confession.

Once the whole story had played out with Trey, Joe walked rapidly to Doctor Martin's office. Inside he found Adam slumped in a chair with bloodstained hands and forearms. He looked up at Joe with such anguish and sorrow that Joe teared up just looking at him.

"How is she?"

"Joe, she said she loved me. I never got to tell her how I feel because she passed out again. How can I lose her just when I found her?"

"Has Paul given you any word on how she's doing?"

"No, and there was so much blood. She was in such pain. It was supposed to be me. She may die because of me."

"No! That is absolutely not true. Trey Fuller shot her trying to cover his crimes by murdering you. He's the only one responsible, and he's dead."

Adam dropped his head into his hands. Joe walked over to the table and poured some water into the washbowl. He used some soap to prepare a cloth which he used to wash Adam's hands and arms. He handed Adam a towel then to dry his hands. Adam said a quiet thank you, and Joe put his hand on Adam's shoulder. They waited together.

Chapter 6

Doctor Martin walked out of the surgery after washing his hands and discarding his bloodied apron. After the surgery to repair the damage from the bullet, he had sat with Grace for almost an hour to be sure she didn't die. Grace was still breathing weakly and her color was as pale as possible. She had lost so much blood that Paul wasn't sure that her internal organs would continue to function. That was his greatest fear for his patient that her system would shut down even though the bullet's damage was repaired and the bleeding was stopped. Adam looked at him with such hope and fear that Paul wished wholeheartedly that he had a better answer to give.

"She's alive but extremely weak. The bullet went through but did quite a bit of damage. I sewed everything up and stopped the bleeding. She lost a lot of blood which is the greatest factor in whether she will survive. I don't know yet whether she will make it or not. It's in God's hands because there's nothing more I can do at this point."

"I want to see her."

"Go in, but remember she is fragile. I'm not sure if she'll hear anything you say but talk softly so you don't startle her. Don't try to hold her or hug her."

Immediately, Adam walked quietly into the surgery. Paul's wife was standing by Grace who still lay on the surgery table. Paul thought she was too critical to move at this point so he would make sure someone was by her side at all times. Grace was covered with a sheet and a blanket but Adam could see where there was a large wad of bandage. Adam spoke softly to her.

"Grace, I'm here. I want you to know that I will be here for you no matter what."

Paul's wife moved away. The raw emotion in Adam's voice and the tears trailing down his face had moved her nearly to tears as well. Adam took Grace's hand in his. He remembered the first time that delicate hand had gently explored his chest. She had unbuttoned his shirt and then tentatively slid her hand inside. The more she touched him, the bolder she had gotten. Then she had looked up into his face with such longing, he had leaned down to kiss her, and he remembered her reaction. She had shown such raw fear that Adam had leaned back and away from her. He never wanted to see that reaction from her again.

From that point on Adam had never loomed over Grace even a little. He would pull her onto his lap and kiss her gently and hold her against him. He would sit beside her and they would lean toward one another and kiss and touch. But he never put his arms around her arms nor held her hands as he kissed her or touched her. He would lie down and let her lie against his side and lean on his chest to kiss and touch. He had held back too even though it was nearly impossible for him to do. He desired her so much, but in intimacy, she was a delicate flower that needed a tender touch. When they first renewed their friendship, she had seemed so strong and so bold that Adam had not realized that was a cover for the terrible hurt and the fears that lay beneath. They had lain together several times before actually completing the act of love. The first times she had been eager at first but memories had made her freeze at some point. Then Adam would hold her and reassure her that it was all right. She would feel guilty that she caused his physical reaction and then did nothing to help him satisfy it. He had told her he was patient and that he would wait for her to be ready. As their trust in each other had grown, her ability to accept his touching grew until there was no barrier between them.

But now Grace lay here helpless and so pale her skin seemed translucent in the lamp light. Adam whispered to her. He stroked her arm and kissed her hand. He could barely tell that she was breathing. He stood there for over an hour watching her and willing her to live. He said prayers and begged God for some time for them. They had both lost so much and suffered so much, he asked for some time for them to live joyfully.

The door opened and Adam heard a soft tread behind him and turned to find that Reverend Wallace was there. Reverend Wallace took Adam's hand in his, and then he grasped Grace's hand before saying a prayer for healing. He placed his hand on Grace's forehead and whispered more prayers for healing and blessing. Then he clasped Adam in an embrace before leaving. Adam turned back to Grace and thought that she seemed to be a bit better. When Paul entered the room soon after, he too said that Grace seemed a bit better. She was still ghostly pale but her breathing was more noticeable as if she were making a greater effort to fight against the bullet's violation of her body.

"If she gets a bit stronger, we'll move her to a bed. I don't want to do anything to disturb her ability to fight back so for now, I want her to stay right where she is. I can stay with her."

"No, I'm staying by her side until she wakes. I want to be here for her no matter what."

Paul moved a stool over for Adam to sit on. It would likely be a long wait. Paul sat down in the rocking chair that was there just for that purpose. He closed his eyes. He knew Adam would wake him if there was any change not that it was likely he could do any more to help Grace, but by being there, he was at least helping Adam by providing some peace of mind for the worried man.

"Grace, I love you. Come back to me, please."

Adam repeated the same phrases or others just like them as often as he could. He hoped that at some point, Grace would hear his words and they would comfort her and strengthen her resolve. He hoped and he prayed. As dawn began to show through the window, Adam felt Graces hand tighten almost imperceptibly in his. He began to whisper again that he loved her, and she opened her eyes. In a voice almost too weak to be heard, Grace made a request.

"Kiss me. I heard your voice calling to me and now I need a kiss."

Adam was hesitant to lean over her to kiss her afraid that he might provoke a fear response so he quickly kissed her lips and withdrew. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Kiss me like you mean it."

Adam leaned down and kissed her softly and sensuously. When he stood, he could see a small smile on her face. Then she opened her eyes to look at him again.

"Paul, she's awake."

Paul had awakened earlier but seeing the scene between the two, he had closed his eyes to give them privacy. Now he stood and walked over to the table.

"Well, you gave your man here quite a scare, young lady. I think we can get you into a bed now. Let me go out to the waiting room and see how many helpers I have."

Paul walked back in with Joe, Ben, and Jamie rubbing sleep from their eyes. Paul showed them how by grabbing handfuls of the sheet under Grace they could lift her. Then walking sideways they could remove her from the table and reversing the procedure, they could place her on the bed without disturbing the blanket that covered her and putting any pressure on her wounds. Adam pulled a chair next to her bed to sit by her side and hold her hand once she was settled there.

"Son, you need to get some sleep."

"I'll sleep as soon as Grace is resting. I can sleep right here."

"Listen to your father." Grace's voice was weak but had the ring of authority in it.

Adam smiled at his feisty gentle lady.

"All right, I'll go get some sleep. But you first. I'll go when you fall asleep."

It didn't take long. Ben offered to sit with Grace while Adam got some sleep. Paul offered a patient's room down the hall because he had no one there at the time. Then Paul took his leave to have some breakfast and get a bit more sleep before he began his workday. Joe and Jamie headed to the hotel to get breakfast and reserve some rooms for that night. They had done this so many times for members of the family, and all assumed that Adam would be making Grace a part of the family very soon.

Chapter 7

Within a day, Grace was able to be moved to her home. Her injury was healing well but she was exceptionally weak. She worried about her business. Staying in town, Adam helped her to deal with everything she needed. He arranged for a woman to work the counter at the dress store. There would be no alterations until Grace was able to get back to work, but items that were ready to be picked up or purchased as is could be bought and paid for. Adam went each night to the shop to close up and tally her ledgers for her. He hired a woman to be with Grace during the night, but he took care of her during the day. After a week, she was chafing under his protection but got no help when the doctor supported Adam completely in his efforts.

"Grace, you're feeling better because you are getting the rest and the nutrition you need. If you try to work now in your condition, you could end up very ill. Just manage to tolerate this care for another week and you should be able to start resuming some of your work."

"But Paul, I could do some sewing right here in bed."

"No, my prescription is complete bed rest. I don't believe you understand how close you came to dying. Your whole system was taxed nearly beyond endurance, and frankly I'm a little surprised you made it. Patients in that condition rarely do."

Grace was recovered enough that Paul thought he could be honest with her and that his bluntness might shock her into listening to what he said.

"I almost died?"

"Grace, I waited an hour after surgery before I let Adam in to see you. I was afraid you might pass at any minute. Even for the hour after that, I couldn't see how you were still breathing. Adam stood at your side holding your hand and praying you would live. Somehow, you must have wanted to come back so much that your will to live was able to overcome your grave injuries and severe loss of blood. Now I'm telling you this so that you understand why Adam is caring for you the way he is and why I endorse his every action. In a week, I'll help you to get him to back away a little but for now he's doing the right thing."

"That was a shock but thank you for being honest with me. I always know I can trust you to tell me the truth. Honestly, Adam stood at my side for an hour?"

"Yes, and then he sat at your side all night talking to you and praying for you."

"Can I sit at my bedside table for meals at least?"

"Yes, as long as you let Adam help you sit there and then to lie back down. I'll even allow you to sit in your rocking chair there for a little each day if you follow that same rule."

"Did you tell Adam anything else?"

"No, I thought that was news you need to deliver and it's confidential as well. However, I'm still worried about what might happen. You're so weak that any additional strain would be a real threat to your health."

Grace knew the doctor was holding back a little on that one, but she was relieved that so far that nothing more had gone wrong. She had been waiting to tell Adam about it on the night she was shot. Now didn't seem to be a good time to bring it up but very soon she needed to do that.

"How long do you think the risk is high?"

"I would think another week. If nothing happens this week and you gradually resume normal activities, I think perhaps it will be all right."

Adam was pleased when the doctor left, and Grace was gracious in accepting his help. He brought her some lunch and helped her sit at her table. Then when she finished, she asked to sit in the rocking chair and he helped her to sit there. She rocked a little and he saw her eyelids drooping. As she slipped into a nap, he laid a blanket over her before removing her lunch tray. When he came back, she was sound asleep so he lay down on her bed and took a nap too. When the lady who was to stay with Grace for the night arrived she found them like that. She walked back to the parlor and left a note. Then she hurried to her friend's house to tell her tale. By the next morning, it would be all over town.

The slamming of the front door woke Adam. He woke Grace and got her back in her bed. He wondered who had been at the front door. When he went to look he found the note in which the woman had given her notice. Well she had not been the nicest person anyway, and now that Grace was feeling somewhat better, he thought she could stay by herself for an hour while he went to close up her shop. He came back to her house and planned to spend the night. He made sure Grace had something to eat and drink, and then helped her with her basic needs as much as she would let him. By the time she had washed and changed into a clean gown, she was exhausted. Paul's words hit home then. She realized there was little she could do as weak as she was. Adam helped her settle into the bed and pulled the blanket up to cover her.

"Adam, sleep in the guest room. I don't want you all stiff in the morning because you tried to sleep in the rocking chair again."

"I'll leave a lamp burning low in here and both bedroom doors open. If you need something, you call me."

Grace slept through the night. Adam was up a couple of times just to check that she was all right. The next morning, he was up and making coffee in the kitchen when he heard a knock on the door. Roy was there which surprised Adam who invited him in for coffee. Adam was dressed but in his stocking feet. Roy asked where he slept and he answered that he had slept in the guest bedroom.

"I was afraid of that. There's some nasty stuff going 'round about you and Grace. There's a story that you were caught in her bed last evening and your night nurse quit because of it. Then they're sayin' you spent the night with her. Unfortunately you hired one of Bertha Donaldson's friends as Grace's night nurse. The two of them been spreading those stories around."

"So that's what happened to our night nurse. Roy, I was in Grace's bed but she wasn't in it. She fell asleep in the rocking chair so I lay down on her bed to take a nap. If I had slept in the chair and she slept in the bed, there wouldn't have been anything to say. And I couldn't leave her alone last night so that was a set-up. I guess Bertha want to hurt Grace like that to get at me and my family."

"Yes, I'm sure Bertha was waiting for information from a situation just like that to make trouble since Joe shot her husband and her brother."

"But why go after Grace? She didn't do anything. Doesn't she have any decency at all to go after her when she's hurt like this and especially after all she's been through."

"No, she's completely innocent, but she's your friend and for some reason, Bertha really doesn't like you at all."

"I don't know the woman, but I got that impression too at the spring social dance. I don't understand it either. It makes no sense to me. Roy, there's something going on here that is more than what happened to David and Trey."

"I think you're right about that. I'm gonna keep my ears open today and nose around some too to see ifn I kin come up with something. It's Saturday, and there'll be lots of people out and about. You stay here and take care of your lady."

After Adam saw Roy out, he went to see if Grace was awake. She was, so he helped her with her morning needs. She had been horribly embarrassed the first time he had helped but was getting more used to it as the days of the week passed. She still would have preferred not to have his help but knew she needed it. He helped her bathe by washing her back. She teased Adam by saying he could wash her all over, but he groaned and left the room. She decided she really shouldn't be teasing him like that and apologized when he came back to help her settle in the bed. He gave her that long suffering look of his, and she just had to smile which of course didn't make her apology seem sincere so he teased her about that. They spent the rest of the morning talking and just relaxing. Adam read some of a novel Grace had gotten just before she was shot. He read some of it every day.

"My goodness, Adam, that voice of yours could talk the devil into going to divinity school."

"Well thank you, sweetheart. Glad to be appreciated for my capabilities."

"There are a few other of your capabilities I would like to enjoy."

"Please, don't do that. It's been difficult enough without you teasing me about it."

With a sigh, Adam went back to reading to take his mind off other things. Luckily Jules Verne was a good choice for that. Just before noon, there was another knock at the door. Adam went to answer it expecting Roy but found it was his father and Joe. They came bearing gifts of Hop Sing's cooking. Adam said that Grace wasn't strong enough yet to walk to the dining room and sit there for dinner. She sat in a padded chair with arms at her bedside table to eat so they would have to have lunch in there if they wanted to visit with her. Joe and Adam carried in a small table from the parlor and three chairs so they could have lunch together. Adam had told Grace about the story circulating about them. He didn't want her shocked if someone else visited and brought it up.

"Well, I have been wondering about that. That son of Barney's couldn't find his way out of a flour sack if you gave him a map. In all the years Barney and I competed, I never saw Trey do a single thing without being told. When it became known that he was part of this white slave thing, I wondered right away who was giving him the orders. Barney is not a nice person and would do anything he could get away with, but outright criminal activity was never something I suspected him of doing. Immoral, unethical, and underhanded would be more his style."

"Pa, that's not much of a standard to teach your children. You always taught Joe and me that there was a higher law we ought to be paying attention to all the time."

"Yeah, and our backsides can swear to the fact that you enforced that too. You know I played poker with David. Now he was a nice enough guy to play poker with, but I couldn't see being with him for any other reason. The man was pretty dull. And he had this extra income from what they were doing but still lost his business in Sacramento. It doesn't seem like he could have been the brains of the outfit either."

"What about Bertha?"

All three men looked at Grace. She looked back and shook her head. Three smart men and not one of them had thought to suspect a woman. You would think with their experiences with some of the conniving women they had had to deal with, they would have had a more open mind about the possibilities. At least they were looking like they were seriously considering the idea.

"None of us know Bertha and what she's capable of managing. She was gone from here before we ever had a chance to get to know her. Joe's too young to really know her at all. He was probably about seven years old when she got married and left."

"How old is Bertha?"

"A little older than me. I'm not actually sure but probably somewhere in her early to mid-forties."

All four looked thoughtful. This was a mystery that needed solving. Bertha was a likely suspect, but they knew that it could be someone else too.

Chapter 8

Shortly after lunch, Roy came to Grace's home again. He had been checking around and was finding out all sorts of interesting information. Bertha, it seemed, had been spending a lot of time with her cousin, Frank Fuller, who worked for her father and had been promoted to a status much higher than her brother. Apparently, she had been pushed into the marriage with Donaldson after being caught in a compromising situation with her cousin.

"Well, now, I got people watching the both of them. They'll be telling me if they see any suspicious activity. Got to say, wouldn't surprise me none of the two of them was in cahoots and set this whole thing up. Never did see two people more interested in themselves. That Frank is a mean tough son of a gun too. He'd chew off his own leg if it was caught in a trap."

"We know him. He was my age. He and some of the other toughs used to band together to pick on the younger kids. Hoss was someone they liked to target. Hoss and I had to fight against those boys fairly often and it continued into adulthood. Those men all work for Fuller now. Last fight we had was before I was taken, but we tossed those boys around the saloon pretty hard."

"Adam, I remember that fight and a few before that. In that last one, Hoss cleaned the bar off by sliding one of them down it, and now I remember too that you broke a table with Frank Fuller. He can't think anything good about you."

Adam dropped his head into his hand and massaged his forehead. Grace looked at him with worry.

"Adam, honey, are you all right?"

Looking directly at Grace, Adam didn't know what to say at first. His heart rate had risen dramatically. He was frowning but then gave her a sardonic little grin. He had remembered more and told both of them.

"Now I know. Frank was there. I knew that the other voice I heard was familiar but couldn't place it until now. I was remembering a voice filled with anger and trying to match it to everyday voices I hear now. But that was Frank. There was a woman there too, but I don't think she talked. She put a cloth over my mouth, and that's the last I remember of the alley. The next time I was in a freight wagon being very sick and then someone put a cloth over my mouth again."

"Are you sure, Adam? Cause ifn you are, I could go arrest that Frank. Once he's locked away, I could put some pressure on that crew of his. I bet at least one of them would talk to get leniency."

"I'm sure enough to swear to it in a court of law."

"Sheriff Coffee, what about Bertha?"

"Grace, I ain't got nothing to arrest her on except suspicion. I need something and Adam can't testify to her being the woman helping them kidnappers. We all know it was probably her but until I got some proof, I can't do anything about it."

Roy left to find Clem so the two of them could go arrest Frank Fuller. Ben and Joe took turns watching out the front window and when they saw Roy and Clem marching Frank toward the jail, they left to go there too. Adam sat with Grace and the two of them were quiet for a while. There was a lot to think about and not all of it had to do with the Fullers and what they may have been up to. Adam excused himself and told Grace he would be right back. He went down the hallway to the guest bedroom and retrieved a small box from his saddlebags. He opened it and smiled. He hoped it was the right time, but again he had been wrong about that before, so with his heart pounding, he went to talk with Grace.

Grace saw Adam's look when he came back to her bedroom and wondered what had him worried so much suddenly.

"Nothing else has happened, has it?"

"No, but I hope something will happen. Grace, I love you. I love your laugh, your strength, your gentle, kind soul. I love everything about you."

Adam knelt on one knee before her.

"I've been carrying this around with me for over a week. Please accept this ring and marry me?"

Adam looked at her with such longing and concern, Grace reached out and put a hand on either side of his face before answering.

"Adam, I love you too. More than I ever thought I could. I worry though if you will still have me after I tell you some things."

Adam looked concerned and was nervous but was still somewhat hopeful after what she had said.

"Grace, nothing you say could change my mind. We both have a history, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I love you, and if you'll have me, we can spend the rest of our lives together."

"Adam, I do love you so but when I said you and I could be together because I thought because of all those years married and then what happened to me, that I was barren. But Adam, I'm not. I wasn't trying to trap you into a marriage. I really didn't know it could happen."

Grace watched all the emotions and thoughts play over Adam's features: worry, confusion, and most gratifying to her was the joy that suddenly transformed him. He looked at her and reached out to touch her cheek with one hand and grasped her other hand in his.

"Really? We're going to have a baby? I'm going to be a father?"

"You're happy? I was so worried that you would be so angry with me. I was going to tell you the night I got shot. Then I needed to get strong enough to tell you. I was going to tell you soon. Oh, but you are happy, aren't you?"

"Grace, I had given up hope that could ever happen for me. I was so happy to be able to love again. If we can have a baby, that will make life even better. But did being hurt so badly hurt the baby?"

"Paul isn't sure. He thought if I could get through this next week with no problems, then the baby will be fine. Adam I was going to tell you after this week was over, but you asked me to marry you, and I had to be honest with you."

"You shouldn't have to suffer this worry by yourself. I'll be here with you. However, I think I know your answer but you haven't given me a final answer to my proposal yet.

"Yes, Adam, yes. I will marry you and be your wife, and we shall live a long and happy life together."

"And hopefully raising our child together."

Grace could hear the worry in his voice. She sighed. He would be even more protective of her now. Soon they would have their first fight she supposed.

"Adam, we have a lot to talk about now."

Time flew as they talked of when they would marry, where they would live, if Grace would keep her shop, and how they would tell his family.

"I think my family already knows. This will just confirm what they suspect. They were probably wondering what was taking me so long."

Adam and Grace had to laugh at that. Then they heard the front door open and wondered if Ben and Joe were back, but it was odd that they had not knocked. Adam went to see who was there and the next thing that Grace saw was Adam backing into the bedroom with his hands raised to each side.

Chapter 9

In Roy's office, there was a spirited discussion going on about how guilty Barney Fuller might be in this whole conspiracy. Joe and Clem argued that he had to be in on it while Ben who had competed with him for so long on contracts said he couldn't believe he would go that far. Roy, who had a vast understanding of the human character and its weaknesses, kept an open mind and told Clem to have someone watch Barney as they were watching Bertha. Frank Fuller wasn't saying anything but had asked to have an attorney there as soon as possible.

As the three men sat and discussed the case and what some men would do out of greed which didn't shock them because in the silver mining, there had been innumerable tales of awful things done to gain wealth, Clem burst back into the office.

"Bertha was just seen going into Grace's home. No one has seen Barney in a while but said he was wearing a pistol this morning."

"That's not good. In all the time I've been sheriff here I rarely saw him going about armed. He always had men with him who were but not Barney."

The four men had rushed from the office and headed to Grace's house which luckily wasn't far away. The door stood open when they got there, and they walked carefully and quietly up the steps to the porch but rushed to Grace's bedroom when they heard a thunderous shot. When they got to the bedroom, Barney was standing just outside the door with a smoking pistol in his hand and acrid smoke swirling around him.

"Drop that gun, Barney. Drop it now!"

Barney started to turn toward them, and Joe was going to fire, but Roy brushed his arm upward where his bullet buried itself in the ceiling. Barney was not threatening them. He looked like he was dazed. Roy stepped forward and took the gun from his hand. He pushed him down the hallway into Clem's custody.

"Clem, just hold him there until we see what we got here."

Roy stepped forward into the doorway to see a body and a pool of blood around it. On the bed, Adam sat with his arm around Grace who was sobbing. Then Ben was pushing him forward and he had to step into the room. Ben issued a loud sigh of relief to see Adam safe and Grace in his arms.

"Adam, what happened here?"

"Bertha came in the house with a pistol in her hand. She made me raise my hands and walk backwards into here. She said that I had taken everything away from her. She wished I had died in that camp, but she planned to rectify that mistake. First, she said she would take everything away from me. She said she was listening outside and had heard we were going to be married and have a baby, so she was going to shoot Grace and then me. She said taking David and Trey had been disappointing losses, but taking Frank was unforgivable."

"But what happened to her?"

"Barney came in and told her that she couldn't do this. That it was evil. She said some pretty vile things to her father then. She turned sideways to him so I was going to move forward to try to get her gun, but she turned back to me too fast. She said enough talk, and it was time to do what she had come to do. Barney pulled his pistol on her yelling at her not to do it, and she turned her pistol toward him. They fired at the same time. She missed. Then you were here."

"Adam, I'm gonna write down what ya said and then bring it back here for you to sign. I'll have to talk to Barney too and get his statement, but sadly it all looks pretty cut and dried here."

Ben asked Joe to go get the doctor for Grace. Adam was holding her yet and her sobs had diminished to a few whimpers.

"Adam, I can't stay here."  
"I'll carry you into the other bedroom."

"No, I can't stay in this house. I have to leave."

Ben watched as Adam whispered into Grace's ear and she nodded her head in agreement several times. Then Adam asked Ben if he would ask Reverend Wallace to please come to the house. Ben agreed and left as Adam lifted Grace in his arms and carefully walked to the parlor where he sat in a stuffed chair with Grace still in his arms. She looked so much younger and vulnerable, Ben's heart broke for her.

When Doctor Martin got there, he went into the parlor to examine Grace. He found her to be in good health and the baby

was still there. He said he still couldn't guarantee the pregnancy would continue, but he was hopeful after her surviving two crises without a miscarriage so far. Reverend Wallace arrived with Ben and met Joe who was waiting on the porch. The undertaker had been there and removed Bertha's body and said he would send some people to clean up if they would be paid. Joe assured him that they would. When the minister got inside, Adam and Grace asked to speak with him privately, but they asked the others to stay. Then after about fifteen minutes, they called them into the parlor, and the minister performed a wedding. A simple ceremony, it was all that Ben had hoped to see for his son though as Adam's joy was contagious. The wedding wasn't to be announced until Grace was feeling stronger. Ben and the others congratulated the couple.

For now, if the carriage was driven slowly and carefully, Doctor Martin agreed Grace could go to the Ponderosa to finish her recuperation. Ben said he would go rent a carriage so they could leave soon. Adam asked Joe to stay with Grace so he could go to her room and pack things for her. Within an hour, they were headed out to the ranch. Adam carried Grace to the carriage and with Joe's help, got her into the back seat. He climbed in beside her just as they heard Roy call to him. They waited and Roy handed Adam a sheet to read. He read it over, nodded, and signed it when Roy handed him a pencil.

"That about wraps it up, I guess. Frank is distraught now that he heard Bertha is dead. He's telling everything and naming names. I got Clem headed over to Carson City right now with names of people to be arrested. The judge there will issue the orders."

"Anyone else here?"

"No, Adam, I'm glad to say all the perpetrators are accounted for here."

"Barney Fuller?"

"No, Ben, you were right. He had nothing to do with it. He's a broken man though, I can tell you. Keeps saying it was his fault. Looks like a shadow of himself all slumped in a chair in my office. Don't rightly know what he's gonna do now."

It was a somber group who left Virginia City that afternoon. So often they had seen what greed and avarice could do to people, to families, and to friendships, and that horrible drama had played out again. Finally, it was Grace who broke the mood.

"I just got married, but I feel like I'm at a funeral. Would someone please say something nice or good please."

"So, you and Adam are having a baby."

If Adam could have jumped from the wagon to slap his brother, he would have. Joe just smirked and looked at Ben who was chuckling. Adam looked back to Grace who was smiling at him.

"That is a good thing, isn't it? He just did what I asked."

Adam shook his head. She was going to fit right in with his family.

"Yes, Joe, we're having a baby. In about …"

"Seven and a half months."

In all of the talking that Adam and Grace had done, he had not asked that question. He knew they had more talking to do but now had a lot of time to do it.

"When do the two of you plan to announce that you're married?

"Pa, we'll do it in church when Grace is strong enough to attend. For now, just family will know. So, we can tell Jamie and Hop Sing. Candy too if you want."

Grace was surprised to hear Hop Sing included. She had not known how close Adam felt to the cook, and by the reactions of the others to including Hop Sing in the family group, she knew they felt the same way. Both Joe and Ben were happy that Adam included Candy.

The questions about where they would live, and if Grace would keep her shop led to some lively discussion but no resolution because Adam and Grace had not yet decided either of those questions and they were related. If they lived on the ranch, it would be difficult for Grace to keep her shop. If they decided to keep the shop, then Adam would need to make a home in or close to Virginia City. Ben was the one who suggested an alternative they had not considered until then. Someone could be hired to run the shop and do the fittings. Grace could do the needlework while living on the ranch. She and Adam could go to the shop once or twice a week to do the records, conclude any business, make payments, and pick up any work that needed to be done. Grace immediately liked that scenario, and she could see the signs that Adam was thinking about it. She would be able to do what she loved, live with her husband on the ranch he loved, and care for her child.

Once they reached the ranch, Joe went inside to tell Hop Sing that Grace was now married to Adam although it was a secret for just the family to know and that she would be living with them. Hop Sing met the couple at the door as Adam carried Grace into the house and over to the settee.

"Do you want to be in my room, or our room, upstairs or would you like to be in the guest room down here?"

"Whither thou goest, I will go."

"Now or later?"

"Later, I think. I can rest here and admire the place. I can visit and have dinner. After that I think I'll be ready to go to our room."

"I'll put your things up there then. I'll get Joe to help me put another dresser in there. We can get more of your things from town tomorrow if you wish. I mainly packed clothing, but I did take the pictures from your bedside table."

"Thank you, Adam. That's wonderful."

Hop Sing was by her side then with a plate of cookies and some milk. Adam smiled. Someone must have told him about the baby because he had put some red frosting on each cookie. Undoubtedly there would be eggs, noodles, and probably red frosting on a cake or cookies for dinner. Hop Sing promised Grace that he would make a fine wedding dinner for them to celebrate that evening with the family.

Grace was wrong. She didn't make it all the way through dinner. She was so tired she needed to lie down and even sitting was getting to be too much of a strain. Adam noticed that she was leaning on his arm prompting him to say goodnight for both of them, and despite a few mild protestations from Grace, he lifted her in his arms and carried her up the stairs. His leg was starting to hurt with all the exertion, but he wasn't about to tell her that. Once in the bedroom upstairs, he lay Grace on the bed and pulled open a drawer to get out a gown for her.

"Don't bother with a gown."

Adam looked back at her with a frown. Did she intend to sleep in her dress?

"It's my wedding night. I will spend it in the arms of my husband."

"Sweetheart, Doctor Martin said we had to be careful so as not to do anything to cause you to miscarry. I can wait."

"I can't. We can do other things. But this is my wedding night and something darn well better happen so I remember it fondly."

Adam smiled at his wife and then chuckled. She was this amazing amalgam of gentleness, vulnerability, and sweetness mixed with steely resolve, creative intelligence, wit, and wanton passion. He sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her as he began to help her remove her dress. She unbuttoned his shirt at the same time. She pushed her tongue into his mouth to let him know she wanted more. He kissed and touched as she reciprocated and found that there were in fact many fascinating things they could do with passion and gentleness. Grace fell asleep in his embrace and with the lamp still burning, Adam looked down at her face in repose.

"I waited so long for my one true love, Grace Cartwright. You were worth the wait. I love you and I always will."

Grace smiled at him even though her eyes remained closed, and he realized she was not asleep but merely looked it. He would not have changed a word if he had known she could hear them. She kissed his chest and snuggled into him. After a few minutes he felt her regular breaths against his chest and felt her relax into his arms. He watched her for quite a while until his eyelids fluttered closed, and he fell into the most relaxed sleep he could ever remember.

Chapter 10

"I speak today of talebearers, gossipers, and scandal-mongers. There are those who have privileged information about people but reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it. They have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves over others as some kind of grand sources of knowledge. They spread stories of the character faults and life failings of others, and relish in revealing embarrassing and shameful details of the private lives of their friends and neighbors. Even if there is no intent to harm, it is still wrong in the eyes of God. Instead God's wrath shall be extended to those who reveal their own sinfulness and disregard of God's laws by 'saying things they ought not to' Romans 1:29-32. Such people have turned away from God's instruction, from his guidance, and from his Word. They distort, they betray, and they cause hurt and hardship. They belittle others, and in the process, belittle themselves. 'A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret' Proverbs 11:12-13. We cannot trust, we cannot love, if all we sow are seeds of anger and sadness. In the Bible, it tells us that 'a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends' Proverbs 16:28. Those who do this do nothing but cause trouble, bitterness, and pain. It is sad in God's eyes that some people look for opportunities to destroy others and derive enjoyment from doing so. 'A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul' Proverbs 18:7-8. We must refrain from this sinful talk and realize that our words go directly to God. Would you have him hear those things you gossip about?" [ ideas derived from Got ]

The congregation was silent when he finished. He had continued for nearly an hour and ended with Paul's treatise on gossipers. Then the minister announced that Adam and Grace would renew their vows in front of family and friends for they had been married by him some time before with only a few present. No one would question Reverend Wallace on the veracity of his statement nor would they dare question him now on when he had performed that marriage.

Grace stood at Adam's side as they said their vows again this time in front of friends and neighbors as well. Grace was still pale but the joy she exuded made her as gorgeous as a porcelain doll with her brown hair framing her face. Adam never took his eyes from Grace's brown eyes throughout. The women in the congregation longed for their men to look at them that way, and many a daydream started where the dreamer was the recipient of that look of love and longing that Grace was receiving from the dark handsome cowboy. Adam kissed his bride when the minister announced they were husband and wife 'still' which got a chuckle from the crowd. Then Ben announced that there were refreshments outside and that there would be music as well for the next few hours. Hop Sing and his cousins had prepared a feast and set it on tables while the congregation sat for the service and then witnessed the vows of Adam and Grace. Adam and Grace received the members of the congregation at the door with the minister and Ben on either side of them.

"Adam, I may have to start giving you some of my salary."

"Why is that, Reverend?"

"So many sermons lately have been the direct result of talking with you. I fear what will happen if I need the subject of a sermon, and you are not available."

"Sadly, our community is likely to offer many more ideas of which people need to be reminded."

"I fear that you are correct. I do hope though that you will still find time to come visit and talk with me. I so enjoy our conversations."

"I enjoy them as well. I will certainly be along now and then."

Reverend Wallace noted how much Adam had changed since he had first met him. He had been so unsure of himself in so many ways and hurting for so many reasons. Now he was a confident man with a lovely wife and a child on the way. He had found his place again and liked it even better than what he had had before except for the loss of his brother Hoss which continued to haunt him. That pain might never leave him, but now he had joy to offset the sorrow. As the afternoon waned, Adam took his leave of his friends for he wanted to get Grace home before she was exhausted. He knew this was a strain for her and wanted to soften the impact by getting her home and resting soon.

On Monday morning, Adam answered the door to find a surprise visitor. Barney Fuller was there. He had been under the doctor's care after he had been forced to shoot his daughter. His clothes hung on him. Adam invited him in worried and wondering why he was there.

"You have to know how sorry I am about what my son did, and what my daughter tried to do. You know I used to laugh when I saw Ben riding herd on you boys and never letting you have your way. My children were free to do as they wished as I did everything I could to become wealthy. Now I see what I did, and how my greed and avarice made my children morally corrupt. There is nothing I can do to make up for what happened. I'm going to go live with my brother in California. His wife died and he has some health issues. I can do some good there."

"Barney, I am sorry for your losses. If there is anything I can do to help, I will if I can."

"Well, there is. I have teams of draft horses, wagons, lumber and timber contracts, and a load of other stuff I can't take with me. It's listed on this manifest. If you'd like to make an offer, I'll sell it all to you."

Barney handed a large envelope to Adam who pulled out a long sheet of items. He looked it over.

"Barney, we couldn't make a very good offer on this much material. Lots of these things would be backups and only be put into storage. You could get a lot more money selling each thing separately."

"Yes, I know that, but that would take a lot of time and effort. Frankly, it's not worth it to me any more."

"I'll have an offer ready for you tomorrow morning if that is all right? I'll talk this over with my family tonight. Where should I bring the offer?"

"How about if we meet at the bank about the time it opens?"

"That would be fine. I'll see you then."

"Thank you, Adam. I don't think I could have been as gracious if I was in your place. Thank you for your understanding."

Ben and Joe rode into the yard as Barney was leaving which caused them to hurry into the house.

"What was Barney Fuller doing here? Is everyone all right?"

"Pa, everything's fine. He made an offer to sell out to us. Here's the sheet of what he wants to sell."

"You're not seriously considering this, are you?"

"Pa, he didn't do anything except be a poor father. He knows that and has already paid dearly for it. We will have use for everything on that list eventually, and some would benefit us right away. I told him we would have an offer ready by tomorrow morning. He wants to sell it all in one deal. I told him we would have to make a low offer, and it didn't seem to bother him."

"Well, you and Jamie work it out then. Joe and I can look it over when you're done. If we're all in agreement, then you can make the offer."

Once Jamie got a look at the list and compared it to the list of items they were preparing for capital outlays over the next five years, he had to agree with Adam that it was a good idea. They would not use everything right away but there were certainly things that were needed. They based their offer on a good price for things they could use immediately, and low offers for items that would be stored until needed. The overall outlay was large but within their limits. If there was a crisis in the next year though, they would be strapped for cash.

Joe suggested paying half down and paying the rest like a loan with payments every three months until the balance was paid. Barney would not have need for all the money immediately, and with interest, he would get a greater sum in the long run. They agreed to make that their offer. The terms were drawn up and Adam delivered them the next morning. It was actually a better offer than Barney had expected. It was certainly more than he would have paid in a similar circumstance. He realized how different he was than these Cartwrights and why his life had turned out so much worse than theirs. Adam shook his hand and walked out of the bank after making arrangements for Barney to be paid.

Riding back to the Ponderosa, Adam reflected on all that had happened. With a smile, he started singing. Grace heard his singing as he neared the ranch house and stood to greet him. After a kiss, she walked with him into the stable and helped him groom Cloud Dancer after he unsaddled her. Then they went to the porch where as if by magic, Hop Sing appeared with coffee and doughnuts. Adam sat in a chair he pulled next to the one Grace had sat in. He held her hand as they sipped coffee and ate fresh hot doughnuts. They talked of the deal he had made, of the future of her shop, of the home they hoped to build, and many other things as they prepared to live a joyful life together.


End file.
